A Weekly Offering of This n That

Rainy Day is my alter ego. She is the little angel that sits on one shoulder and whispers in my ear to forgo that 6" piece of triple chocolate fudge with the four scoops of ice cream on it; she is also the little devil who sits on my other shoulder and convinces me that I can eat just one bite of each and be satisfied, and then laughs with such great abandon when in fact, I eat the whole thing, she falls off my shoulder. Mostly, Rainy Day helps me see the humor in living and, mostly, she encourages me down the right path. Not necessarily the straight and narrow one (how fun is that?) but the path that offers the most adventure and fun.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Rainy Day and the Mini Marbles

Rainy Day and the Mini Marbles 

American Guinea Pig photo (c) Animal-World: Courtesy, Lisa (used with permission)

When Rainy Day was young, she discovered it was, sometimes, fun to tell a lie. Not always, and never over important things. It was just fun to see if she could get away with it. Sometimes she did, and sometimes she didn't. She was punished as often for telling the truth as for telling a lie. Now, if you asked if she stole the money (an important thing) she could not lie about it (she also didn't steal it), but if you asked the right question, at the right time, well, you just might have gotten a lie. And then she read one of Max Brand's Silvertip books. The Hero said something like, "Never tell a lie. Your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe you anyhow." So Rainy Day stopped telling lies. Well, almost.

When Rainy Day was a senior in High School, Mr. High Muckety, from her Step Father's work, and his wife, Mrs. High Muckety came to dinner. Now, Rainy Day did her best to get out of this dinner. She knew, from past experience, that it would be boring. It would be beyond boring--it would be deadly dull. Alas, not only could she not get out of dinner, but she also had to wear a dress! Rainy Day was not happy! In fact she was mortified. She hated wearing dresses; however, she suffered bravely behind a false smile. (With a name like Rainy Day, she was used to a lot of false and brave smiles.)

Yes, the time came during dinner, when Step Father and Mother could no longer carry the conversation and what did Mother do? Why, she turned to Rainy Day and, wearing her sweetest smile –you know, the one ever mother wears when she is really saying, 'If you cross me, you'll be sorry' and then asked the most dreaded question in the world, "Well, Rainy Day, what did you learn in school today?" Poor Rainy Day. She nearly choked on her perfectly roasted salmon. Mother was, after all, a gourmet cook. And then, well, Rainy Day smiled a real and genuine smile and replied, "In science class, we learned that if you pick a Guinea pig up by its tail, its eyes will pop out. The tail is connected to the optic nerve."

Mrs. Muckety turned a pale shade of green. Mr. Muckety got an evil glint in his eye. Step Father began to mentally beg for his job, disclaiming any knowledge of 'that child'. Mother, well, Mother just asked more questions. "Why, Rainy Day, whatever do you mean, its eyes pop out? You mean, like Peter Lorre's?"

"No, Mother." Rainy Day rolled her eyes in what she hoped was a theatrical manner. "I mean their little eyes pop out, and fly across the room. It's really funny." Rainy Day fluttered her fingers to give vision to the description. Mrs. Muckety almost ducked.

"Well, surely, Rainy Day, you can put them back, can't you?" Before she answered Mother's question, Rainy Day innocently glanced at Mrs. Muckety – she was turning a lovely shade of puce. Mr. Muckety, meanwhile, hid his face behind his napkin. Step Father was ignored.

"Well, Mother, of course you can. But it doesn't do any good."

"What do you mean, it doesn't do any good?"

"Well, the optic nerve has been severed, so they're forever blind. Boy howdy! They sure are they funny as they run around and bump into desks and chairs and things." Rainy Day laughed as she used her hands to try to mimic the blind Guinea pigs bumping into furniture.

"But, what do you do with the eyes?" Mother didn't know whether to cry or get angry.

"Oh, we dry them, paint them, and use them as mini-marbles." Rainy Day mimed shooting marbles across the table toward Mrs. Muckety.

Poor Mrs. Muckety. She was almost ready to excuse herself from the table and find the rest room; Step Father was almost ready to get on his knees to beg for that job and swear he had nothing, nothing I say, in the raising of Rainy Day. Mr. Muckety tried so very hard to keep a straight face. Mother stood and announced with a most indignant voice (she opted for the anger), "Rainy Day, that is cruel, and I am going to report it to Senator Wayne Morse's office right now. He will see to it your school stops that so called experiment, and stops it right now!"

As Mother began to walk to the phone, Rainy Day gave forth another huge, she hoped, theatrical sigh, "Mother, I haven't taken science for two years. And, besides, Guinea pigs don't have tails."

Mr. Muckety could no longer contain himself. He choked and guffawed until the tears rolled. When he stopped choking on his laughs, he told Rainy Day, "That was great! I can hardly wait to share it!" Mrs. Muckety began to regain her normal coloring. Step Father gave a weak smile assuming his job remained his (it did), and Rainy Day never again had to participate in one of those oh-so-deadly-boring dinners.

(Actually, Guinea pigs do have tails, but they are so tiny it's almost impossible to see them, let alone grab them, and if you were to succeed in picking a guinea pig up by his wee teensy tail, Rainy Day wants you to rest assured his eyes will not pop out. However, she also wants you to understand that he does have sharp little rodent teeth!)

NOTE: The photo is used by permission from Animal-World. Animal-World is not a store, but an information and care site for all sorts of pets and animals. Rainy Day encourages those of you who have pets (especially Guinea Pigs) or are considering acquiring a pet, to spend some time perusing the site. 

What do you think? Do you tell lies? Tall tales? Rainy Day would love to hear from you. If there is no 'Comment' box below, please click on the word comments and a box should magically appear;-)

No comments:

Post a Comment