Rainy Day and Henry Scheirman

This has been a week of memories for Rainy Day. Her grandparents (maternal side) were married on Thanksgiving and had more than 50 years of happiness. Rainy Day's little brother was born on Thanksgiving Day, so he celebrated another milestone.

As Rainy Day's dearly beloved auntie used to say, "S/He who has the most birthdays, lives longest." Rainy Day and her brother are in a competition to see who wins;-)

And an old friend of Rainy Day's died. Henry Scheirman. Rainy Day met Henry and his delightful wife, Mary, several years ago at a Writer's Workshop held in Charleston, OR. She had so much fun, she kept going back, and when she retired, she moved close. Mary ran the workshops and Henry hovered about helping out as needed. He also did much of the catering. He was a gourmet chef.

All the men who met Henry liked him, and all the women loved him. It was great fun to flirt and 'fight' over Henry's attentions because we all knew there was only one woman in his life, and that woman was Mary, whom he adored.

Mary quit having the Workshops, and they moved, and Rainy Day moved, and there was one too many address change, both snail and electronic, and we lost track of each other. Some of us tried to locate them, but we couldn't, Henry and Mary had vanished, it seemed. What happened is, according to someone who heard it from someone, they moved into a retirement home.

Sunday, their son Ted, called a mutual friend, who let several of us know, Henry had died on Saturday. Mary, he said, was aware of what happened, but is very frail, and sleeps most of the time. So, now Rainy Day has found her old friend, only to find out he's gone, and his wife nearly so.

Be in peace, friend Henry. You are much loved and missed.

Rainy Day has lost a lot of friends and family in her life (that's to be expected when one get's 'old' – the longer you live, the more goodbyes you say). But she has learned some good stuff through this loss. She has learned to tell her friends and family often how much they mean to her. She has learned that Death is not to be feared, it is a part of Life. She has learned that Grief must be worked through, not ignored (or it will rise up and bite you on the sit-down-upon when you least need or expect it, and at the most inappropriate of times, it will bite and it will bite hard!)

And Life goes on, the wheel goes around. An oldster who lived a long and happy life dies, a baby with an unlimited future arrives; leaves fall off the trees; buds of next year already forming. It is a never-ending-cycle, and we have choices how we see that cycle. Rainy Day likes to look for the Spring and the Summer, the rebirth, even while acknowledging the Fall and the Winter. The choice of how you see Life is entirely up to you.

Know this. Rainy Day values your presence in her life.

Rabindranath Tagore wrote, "Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come." Those are words Rainy Day has held onto, and found comfort in, while she grieves her loss. The dawn has come. It always comes.

Namaste.

Update on 12 Dec 12, Henry's bride of many years, Mary, is now reunited with him. She, too, died peacefully, in her sleep.

Rainy Day is Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and Rainy Day hopes all of you have a wonderful day, filled with great and glorious wonderments for which to be Thankful.

Rainy Day's Thankful list contains, among others not listed:

The Elections are over. Finally.

She has re-connected with her biological brother and sister.

She has a large Family of Choice.

Her children are healthy, happy, and on their own.

There is no turkey for her oven (she has a duck thawing)

She has a small dog (aka 6am Alarm – or Paco Belle, if you prefer) and a large cat (aka Tashiko) to love and be loved by.

She has a computer, and can actually use it to some degree of proficiency (OK, she can turn it on and off).

She quilts, though she doesn't design her quilts.

She takes photos that others enjoy.

She has sold three novels, and has two more out, shopping for agents and or publishers.

She is healthy.

She is happy.

She doesn't have to brave the madding crowds to shop (she makes most of her gifts).

She lives in a nice home, in a nice town, and has nice neighbors.

If your Thanksgiving is half as nice as hers, you will be blessed beyond measure!

Oh, and there are restaurants open to serve those of us who don't want to cook and clean up the mess. Oh, indeed, indeed, so much to be thankful for!

She is, truly, very, very Thankful this Thanksgiving Day, and hopes each and every one of you are, too!

Rainy Day would be very thankful if someone could tell her what kind of flower this is. The fruit looks like a green apple and grows right from the branch.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ―Ralph Waldo Emerson

Living and Working With Differences

Being 'different' is, well, just that. Not better, not worser, just different. (And, yes, Rainy Day knows there is no such word as 'worser' but she likes it, so there!)

Several things came across Rainy Day's computer screen in the last few months stating, usually in a humorous way, that Democrats and Republicans are different (well, shut the front door!). These emails stated the differences were in the brain, but none of them cited reputable sources. Rainy Day smiled, shared a few and then forgot about them.

The other night, Rainy Day was watching one of her favorite commentators who mentioned studies showing the differences in the brain. Hmmmmmm. And then Rainy Day saw Don Lemon talk with a psychologist Dr. Wendy Lee Walsh and she mentioned studies showing differences in the amygdalas of Conservatives and Liberals. So, Rainy Day went to her BFF Google, and googled "amygdalas and conservatives v. liberals" and was surprised at the number of pages that came up. Bazillions.

And the number of scientific papers, complete with citations. She read a few, and settled on the one at ProCon.org because it shows all the citations which were peer-reviewed studies that do, indeed, show liberals and conservatives are physiologically different one from the other. All this time, Rainy Day believed if your family was conservative, you would be too – that it was more a cultural thing.

ProCon lists 16 differences on their page and gives a summary of each, with all the peer-reviewed studies on the subject they could find. If you know of more, they would like you to tell them.

Conservatives and Liberals are different, and it's apparently hardwired. Knowing that, and knowing the hows and the whys, maybe, just maybe, armed with that knowledge, and a willingness to accept the differences, we can stop trying to convert each other, and instead try to find common ground.

One ground we hold in common is we all love this Country. We should also all love and respect each other, even though we're 'different' one from the other. A good way to begin is to trust that we both want what is best, to respect each other and each other's rights and opinions even though we may disagree. And, as Robert Fulgum taught us in his book, All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten, hold hands and look both ways before crossing the street. And share your cookies;-)

Rainy Day spent time in the Military, and on four separate occasions she raised her right hand and gave an oath to die, if need be, to defend our Constitution. She took that oath very seriously. Although no longer in the military, she holds the words of Voltaire close to her heart and tries to live by them, "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

In Rainy Day's church, a song is sung as the children leave the sanctuary to go to Sunday School – Go Now In Peace:

Go now in peace

Go now in peace

May the Spirit of Love surround you

Everywhere, everywhere

You may go.

Rainy Day asks you to take her hand, and the hand of your neighbor (literally or virtually), and go now in peace, look both ways before crossing the street, and let's laugh and play, and work together for the good of all. (Remember, it's a small planet, and we got nowhere else to go!)

Living With the Election

Rainy Day thanks all of you who voted! If the people or referendums you wanted didn't pass, Rainy Day is sorry, but now it is time to hold each other's hands and together walk across the street to the other side, and together, work to put our country back on track. The key words being: hold onto each other, and stay together. Respect each other, and remember, 'race' is a human construct – each and every one of us is an African American (or African Canadian, or African ______ - insert name of country in which you live;-) All of our ancestors walked out of Africa, some just got the wanderlust earlier than others.

Rainy Day also apologizes for being so late in getting this week's post up – her computers were in the computer hospital getting updated, etc. The timing was good, though, as she had lots of time to spend watching the elections;-)

Now that her computer is updated, she can't find a darn thing. It's sort of like washing your hair and then you can't do a thing with it!

Fall has for sure fell here in Rainy Day's town. These photos are of the grape vines on her patio, with the early morning sun shining through them. Rainy Day has unpacked her long johns. The temps have dropped, and she is delighted her wee singing puppy sleeps snuggled next to her at night;-)